Saturday, November 22, 2014

Adios Facebook. It's Been...Not So Real



My daughter and I sat down at the table to have a snack and she got up out of her chair and ran off. "Anna!! Where are you going?" I yelled after her. She quickly came back with my phone in her hand. She laid it in front of me on the table and said, "There's your phone mom." and went to eating her snack like nothing was out of the normal. To her normal was me with my phone.  For the most part all day I was talking, texting, checking email, on Pinterest, checking out Instagram or scrolling through Facebook. My heart sank and I was devastated. With myself. I thought, "Wow. This is her view of me. This is what she'll remember." and that disgusted me.

I've been debating deleting my Facebook for months now. I know it sucks away time here and there more often than I like. I know that 98% of my 500+ "friends" are not real friends. I mean the real, genuine, person I'd call when I really needed an ear to listen kind of friend. Maybe a handful of them were people who I know are tried and true and who I really wanted to keep in touch with. But, the internal argument of, "but, I should keep my Facebook so I can keep up with my friends and family I only see once every year or two!" kept me active. I also made the argument that I manage pages for work. I had to log in and manage those pages, and in order to do that I had to have a Facebook page myself. So, that kept me active for a bit longer too.But, I guess I'd just had enough.

I also didn't  like what I was seeing and filling my head with from my newsfeed made me feel. I "liked" news channels and political pages. The stream of horrible and sickening headlines filled my head and got me mad, angry, sad, upset, frustrated and I knew that wasn't good for me. I also know that I was seeing the best of everyone and it was all an illusion. It wasn't social media, it was status media and only people's best self and best parts of life. I was guilty of that too, don't get me wrong. Most of the time, there's over-poster exceptions of course, no one posted real life struggles; bills piling up, work stresses (besides the typical, "Is it Friday yet!? and "This deadline for sales is gonna kill me"), family drama, real-life-worries and the like. No, only the best is shown. New houses, new cars, new babies, new toys, new adventures and experiences. There were a couple of "bold and honest" blog posts linked into the news feed of real pictures showing toys and dirty dishes in the living room and people proudly proclaiming, "I'm going to be real this month and post a picture of our real life." But, even that was an exhibition of how social media still wasn't real life but only an attempt at it.

Real. That's what I need daily. Real life. 365 days a year. I need authentic, genuine, real life. I need my daughter to see that I am putting my family first and not strangers who I haven't seen in 10 years. I need her to know that her and her sister and their father are more important to me than shoving my face into the computer or phone and telling her to hold on. Just like I've made decisions to be more selective in the activities and events I participate in, I want to be more selective in who I let into my life and I know that those who want to be in my life will keep in touch. I couldn't preach to her about not using the tablet we have and limiting television and movies when I sat there glued to my phone. I also have stuff to do and Facebook was taking away from that. It was a great distraction from the laundry, dishes, dusting and all the other chores that I would put off for half an hour or more sitting on social media.

I think Facebook has a place and it definitely is everywhere for a reason. It's great for keeping up and selling unwanted items and networking if used correctly. I don't think it's evil and if you're reading this and on Facebook and don't have an issue with this then that's fine. Your decisions don't bother me and my opinion of you isn't changed one bit if you have or don't have a Facebook account. My own issues of Facebook sucking away my precious God-given time is what was bothering me. And, here I go. I have sent the delete request and they say it takes two weeks to delete everything. Now, my only worry are those sites I used Facebook to log-in for me automatically. Because apparently if you use those in the two week period then it re-activates your Facebook account. I guess for now I won't worry too much since I won't be getting on to check and see. But, if you would like to contact me and see things y family has been up to then call me, email me a personal email, stop by! I'd love to friend you and connect...in real life! ;) 

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