What is Love?

Last night Blake and I went to dinner. By ourselves. It was an impromptu "date night" and was so nice to be able to sit and enjoy each others company while not having to grab 50 extra napkins, not having to stop mid-bite to take someone to the potty, and to be able to just talk. During the course of dinner we got to talking about Mother's Day and Father's Day gifts we wanted and it got me thinking about how we show love to one another and how the world says we should show love to one another.

When Blake and I were babes. {My birthday about 8 years ago}

With television shows like The Bachelor where women are showered with princess gowns, shopping sprees, romantic over-night getaways to exotic locations, jewelry and roses it's easy to get wrapped up in all that beautiful "romance" and think that is how men are supposed to show love. Commercials come on for jewelry and flowers, especially around the holidays, and the greeting card industry makes a fortune selling cards with romantic poems and promises of love everlasting for Valentine's Day and other holidays they made-up for a profit. We are bombarded by things and gifts all around us showing us the "right way" to show our love.

circa 2007

Before I go on, and Blake if you're reading this, I'd like to make it known that I am in no way opposed to lavish gifts, flowers, romantic cards and and over-night getaways! Ha! But, I started to wonder about what the Bible says about showing love in marriage. I thought back to the first couple in the Bible, Adam and Eve. God made them, and he makes us, for one another. He made us for relationships. He didn't make Eve and then require Adam to try and woo her. Granted, she was the only female on planet earth and he was well, a man. They saw each other and knew "it was good." But, if we think to other parts of the Bible where it speaks of a husband's role and a wife's role, there aren't any verses that say lavish gifts are required to show love.

I think back on my gifts from Blake and although this sounds super cheesy,
the time we spent together is the best gift I've ever gotten!

The most well known verse about love that is read at weddings and taught to us at a young age is 1 Corinthians 13  which is all about love.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails...

So, while it is easy to beat ourselves up and feel unloved and under appreciated when we aren't being showered with gifts...which happens fairly quickly for most after marriage. The courting and wooing is over and the doldrums of life set in and many times the only gifts that are given are to celebrate anniversaries once a year.  But, everyday are you showing love? Are you patient with your husband when you've asked him five times to change the air filter and he still hasn't done it? Were you kind when you asked him? For the fifth time? Were you envious of the guy's hunting weekend getaway he had a few months back? Are you thinking only of yourself and your needs? Are you quick to blow up at him when he's forgotten something you asked him to do? I admit; I am often times not a loving
 wife. I groan and mumble. I think about myself. What can I do to show love?

Love is: patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonor others, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil, rejoices with truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

Love never fails.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22